Easter Tears

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” John 20:15

The college I went to many years ago did not have “Easter Break,” just “Spring Break.” During my freshman year I was on campus for Easter, or as I prefer to call it now, “Resurrection Day.”

It had been a rough spring. Having had one throat infection after another, I had lost my voice entirely, and one doctor had even suggested that I may have damaged my vocal cords permanently. I had been forced to drop out of choir and the other singing group I had been a part of, and my final scene for acting class was an embarrassing mime, at which I proved woefully inept. For me to be a theater major without a voice was bad enough; having to refrain from singing, the thing that gave me more joy than anything, was downright depressing. And of course, the physical pain on top of everything else threatened to send me spiraling down even further into despair.

I had discovered – or rediscovered – my Christian faith during that year, and if you had looked up “Jesus freak” in the dictionary, you would have seen a picture of me. I wanted to tell the “Good News” to everyone, but now could barely communicate with anyone. And so I often could be found shut up in my room alone, praying and trying to read my Bible without letting the tears splash onto the pages. I sometimes would have Simon and Garfunkel singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” from my stereo to give me comfort, but that turned out to be merely the soundtrack of my pity party.

There was a special service in the chapel Easter weekend, and I attended, thinking I really should celebrate this holiest of all days. But as the choir filed in, I felt a lump in my already sore throat. When they began to sing “Christ the Lord Is Ris’n Today” and the congregation joined in, I felt so left out that all I could do was stand there and cry. I loved the Lord with all my 19-year-old heart, but here it was Easter, and all I could do was sit there and watch everyone else celebrate. It was SO UNFAIR!

I don’t know if I was consciously praying or just silently whining to myself, but the though passed through my head,

What could be worse than wanting to sing AT EASTER and not being able to!?

But the One who was with me heard my silent question and answered immediately. I could “hear” His still, small voice in my heart, saying gently,

What could be worse?? Being able to sing at Easter, but not wanting to.

The Voice was right. Whatever this life holds, I have Jesus. And having Him, I am far better off than anyone, in any circumstance, who doesn’t.

My prayer for all of my readers/followers/friends this Resurrection Day is that you will know Him and let Him lead you through life, whatever comes. If you aren’t sure, or if you know you need a relationship with the Lord, here are a couple of posts to get you started:



If you take Jesus’ words to heart, if you place your faith in Him, I’ll meet you later – “here, there, or in the air” – and we’ll sing His praises together.



Prayer: Lord Jesus, the worst of times with You are better than the best of times without You. Keep us aware of Your presence, sensitive to Your leading, and obedient to Your will, in Your name. Amen.

23 thoughts on “Easter Tears

  1. When all is said and done you are right Annie, once we have Jesus and He has us, not much else matters. And if you don’t, nothing else matters either. Thank you for sharing, wishing you and yours a blessed Resurrection Day! Christ is risen indeed! Blessings.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. What is worse being able to sing but not wanting to- that really struck me. May we always remember that we are better off with Jesus.
    Christ is Risen.
    Happy Resurrection Day Annie 💙

    Liked by 5 people

  3. “Not wanting to”
    Sadly I have been there. It’s not a good place to be.
    A very good message Annie. Ironic for me this year as I lost my voice this week. No singing or even talking much but I am still well off.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Blessed Easter, Annie. Whether you remember or not, you were praying: “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Listening for THAT still small voice is the crux of the matter. That you HEARD it says you have been listening. (See https://capost2k.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/what-are-you-listening-for/ for some thoughts on hearing the Voice.) Keep singing in your heart to Him who knows what is in there, and loves us anyway. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Wow powerful point: “What could be worse?? Being able to sing at Easter, but not wanting to.” That is far worst than wanting to sing but can’t sing! THis reminds me of something similar a few years ago. A missionary in a persecuted country needed someone to teach at his seminary though years for that it was seen as “cool” by many to go teach there. The churches and seminary and students began receiving persecutions. So few in the West wanted to go teach for this one session. I wanted to go then my voice didn’t’ work as I got sick. I wanted someone else to take my place but it wasn’t happening. Ended up going there teaching two different provinces some 71 times sounding like the God Father. May we be willing

    Liked by 1 person

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