It is more blessed to give than receive. – Acts 20:35

In less than a week, I went from taking a long, brisk walk with my husband to barely being able to walk across the room. They say the purpose of toes is to find furniture in the dark, and I have one that is quite good at it.

I call it “the little piggy that should have stayed home.”

It’s a long story, but the bottom line is, I have a couple of bones in my feet that are severely dislocated. (They would rather be side-by-side than end-to-end, as they’re supposed to be.) This makes it difficult to impossible to bend my foot in the way it needs to bend in order to walk normally. Consequently, I have been hobbling around like an old lady.

(I know, I am an old lady, but I would still much rather be walking with a spring in my step the way I was.)

Time for another lesson in humility.

The morning before Christmas, I was tired. With not enough sleep, too much to do, and being unable to move very quickly or painlessly, I was confiding in (complaining to) the Lord about all the things I wanted to do for the people in my life that I was afraid I’d be unable to do. The tiredness must have started taking over my brain, because these thoughts gave way to thoughts of the future. I mean, like the rest-of-my-life future. I have always believed I would stay in this world for as long as the Lord could use me, and I didn’t want to stay a moment longer once I became more trouble than I was worth.

That’s where the Lord cut in and reminded me of something He had made clear to me numerous times before. (I seem to be a slow learner.) If I belonged to Him, I would always be able to glorify Him in one way or another. It may not be the way I would like – being the giver, the helper, the strong one. The fact is, His power is made perfect in weakness (II Corinthians 12:9).

Now I don’t like to be the weak one, but if someone is going to be the helper, logically, there’s got to be one who is helped.

It’s easy for me to see that when it comes to other people. I don’t know how many times I have said to a giver who resists a gift, “Hey, if it’s more blessed to give than receive, let somebody else be blessed for a change!” I realize that in all my “good deed doing,” I was always the one who was more blessed than the hospital patients, the nursing home residents, the people being served at the food kitchen, etc. At the same time, there was a good chance the sin of a self-sufficient attitude had sneaked into my soul.

Maybe this season – or that day, at least – was my time to be on the receiving end. What did I have to lose, really, except my pride, which was starting to get unwieldy, anyway? I quietly dedicated my day to the Lord, for whatever He wanted to do with me, and set out on the errands I had to do before Christmas Day.

My daughter had announced that Christmas morning brunch would be a waffle bar. I don’t eat gluten or sugar, hence the trip to the health food store, resisting the urge to be resentful. I had to remind myself that there would be seven people at breakfast. Why should everyone else plan their meal around my stupid limitations? As this additional detail subtly added to my feelings of being isolated and burdensome, I realized that my normal Christmas cheer was in jeopardy! I began silently – and purposefully – giving thanks for the anticipated gathering of loved ones, the gifts I got to watch them open, the beautiful Christmas music, and most of all, the Savior whose birth we’re celebrating.

At the checkout counter of the health food store, I was aware of just one other customer, a young-to-middle-aged man who was also waiting to check out. When the clerk rang up my purchase, a voice came from behind me.

“I’ll get that.” I looked around, and the man was smiling. He wasn’t holding anything, just seemed to be there to pay for my purchases. “Merry Christmas,” he added.

I started to protest, but he looked so happy, I just said, “Why, thank you so much!”

As the clerk handed me my bag, the same kind voice said, “And I want to buy a $100 gift card for her.”

Again, I looked around to see who “her” might be – another recipient of this man’s kindness? But he was still smiling at me. For a moment I was speechless.

“Really?” I stammered. … “Why?” His smile got broader.

“It’s Christmas,” he said.

I smiled back with mock suspicion. “Are you a Christian?” I asked quietly.

He gave me a look I couldn’t read. “I don’t know what that means…” he said. Was he quizzing me, or trying to find out how I would define “Christian”?

I asked, simply, “Do you love Jesus?”

“I do!” he declared.

“So do I!” I confirmed.

I asked him his name. He wouldn’t tell me.

I asked if he was human. He laughed and said he was.

I asked if I could hug him, and he consented.

Finally, I asked if he like to read. He said “yes.” I asked if he’d like some of my books. He said “sure!”

I fetched a copy of each of my books from my car (always prepared!) and came back into the store as he was buying a gift card for someone else. I offered to sign the books, and He said yes but still wouldn’t tell me his name. So, I just signed them to “Christmas Angel.” As I was signing the copy of BARRIERS, he showed me a picture of his beautiful wife, and I signed that book to her, although he only gave me her initials.

I offered to sign “Grumpy to Grateful” for his kids, and he said “They’ll love that!” and did give me their first names. I gave him the books, we hugged one more time, and he was off to bless other people that Christmas Eve.

So, yesterday I was on the receiving end of a blessing I didn’t “need” – or maybe I did. I realized on the way out that I hadn’t quite perfected the art of being on the receiving end yet, since I just had to give the man something in return.

(Baby steps.)

Twice more that day I found myself not being charged for something I’d thought I needed to pay for. Meanwhile, the protein bar I had offered the homeless man on the corner had been rejected with a rude lecture about how “those things’ll kill you!’ or something.

So, I finally got the message. I don’t always have to be the one giving. Remembering the look of joy on the “angel’s” face as he bought gift cards for random strangers, I realized that sometimes I can contribute to other people’s joy simply by accepting their gifts. Besides, as it’s often been said, “You can’t outgive God.”

Yesterday my daughter’s family gave me my Christmas gift, a jar with Scripture verses in tiny scrolls that I’m to take out and read according to the emotion I’m feeling. Since yellow is the color for joy, the first scroll I took out was yellow. Tears filled my eyes, as I read,

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. – John 16:24

I guess it makes God happy to give to His children, too.

Prayer: Father of all good and perfect gifts, we thank You for this blessed season, not just for what we get from others, or even what we can give to others, but what You have given to us, the ultimate Gift of Your Son. May we live every day of the year with an awed awareness of Your grace and live accordingly, whether by being generous givers, or humble and grateful receivers, for both give You glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.