“In your anger, do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. – Ephesians 4:26-27

I want to preface this story by saying that I’m not the person I was when this happened forty-five years ago! Back then I was a 25-year-old new mother, a city girl, now living in a “little house in the big woods” in Michigan. (The woods weren’t that big, I suppose, but you get the scenario; spoiled brat in the process of being un-spoiled.)

It was an even longer, colder, snowier winter than usual. I had a bad case of cabin fever, having been stuck inside with the baby for most of the week. I’d had to put someone else’s needs ahead of my own. Poor me.

My dear husband had spoken to me earlier in the week about the possibility of watching baby Joanna for an hour or two, so that I could get out and do a little cross-country skiing. It didn’t have to be cross-country skiing. It didn’t have to be anything, as long as I could just get out of the house and have a little “me time.”

But it hadn’t worked out that way. Marty had ended up being gone most of the day, “doing his thing,” and by the time he returned, the few hours of January daylight were about gone. And I was mad.

In those days Marty didn’t always notice when I was peeved, and I wasn’t about to tell him. After all, a man is supposed to be able to read his wife’s mind, right girls?

So, instead of the doing the reasonable thing and talking to him about my disappointment, which, after all, would put a real damper on the pity party I was planning, I lay awake that night, stewing. The fact that my husband was sleeping like a baby infuriated me even more.

Finally, at about midnight, give or take a few growls and sighs, I decided to get up and go out. Never mind that there was nowhere to go.

Let’s see how he likes being left with the baby! I thought. I knew darn well that when Joanna woke up hungry and fussy, he’d have nothing to give her. I didn’t leave a note telling him where I was going … because I didn’t know.

Starting the car, I half expected Marty to come running out to see what was happening, but he was a much sounder sleeper than that. So, I headed into “town.”

Onekama’s streets were predictably deserted when I got to the village limits. The Christmas lights had been taken down, and their absence made the streets seem even darker. I was a bit surprised to see the lights on in the little church I attended on Sundays. I didn’t see any other cars when I parked and got out, but I went up and tried the door anyway. I was surprised to find it unlocked. I stepped into the sanctuary, walked down the aisle and sat down in the front pew.

I’d like to say I was “pouring my heart out to the Lord,” but to be honest, I was basically b*tching to Him about my lousy husband’s lack of consideration.

I don’t know how long I stayed there, but I guess at some point the Almighty decided He’d had enough. I heard a loud click, and suddenly I was in the dark. With a slight shudder I decided that maybe it was time for me to be on my way…

I wish I could say I did the sensible thing and went home, but I wasn’t through bit– er, venting. I drove in the opposite direction, as once again the snow began to fly. I should have asked myself where I was going and just what did I plan to do if/when I got there. Or what might happen if I ran out of gas or got stuck in a snowbank.

I blubbered through another pitiful tirade (making everything about me, of course), ending with “YOU understand how I feel, don’t You?”

And then, for the first time I listened, and God finally got a word in edgewise.

Of course I do, the Still, Small Voice said gently.

Then after a pause, He added, still gently but firmly, I also know how Marty feels, and you don’t. So why don’t you just go home now?

Thoroughly rebuked by those few words, I stopped, sheepishly turned the car around, and headed back.

I wondered what I would find when I got there. Would Joanna be awake, hungry, and hysterical? Would Marty be up, pacing, sick with worry? Would he be contrite? – or would he be (rightly) angry?

But as I walked up to the door, the house was as silent as the snow falling outside. My husband and my baby were both sound asleep, blissfully unaware that anything out of the ordinary had happened.

Quietly, I shut the door behind me, and the moment I did, I heard Joanna’s whimper. I sighed wearily and headed into the nursery. Upon seeing her, I smiled. How I loved that baby girl! I scooped her up, held her close, fed her, changed her diaper, sang and rocked her, and laid her back down. Then, finally, I let it all go and sank back into the bed by my husband, who never stirred until the morning light.

Prayer: Lord, thank You that I am not who I was! Thank You for Your patience through all my tantrums and pity parties. Thanks for protecting me through foolish and dangerous choices. Thank You for loving me right where I was – but loving me too much to leave me there. Help me to keep growing and becoming the person You created me to be. In Jesus’ name, amen.

P.S. When Still, Small, Voice spoke to me that night, He could well have been saying, little lamb, You. Have. NO. IDEA. A few nights ago, after 45 years, I learned for the first time what had happened to Marty one day – possibly that same day – when he was out in the snow. I’ll tell y’all about it next week.

“… for you [God] alone know the hearts of all men.” – I Kings 8:39

Pardon the click-bait title here, but I’m making a point.

Ever since my teenaged years when it seemed I spent half my life either coming down with something, sick with something, or getting over something, I have been somewhat of a “health nut.” I have written posts about how my early illnesses were a blessing in disguise, because they taught me how to take care of myself, strengthen my immunity, and maintain all-around resilience and extremely good health for my age. The fact that the Lord didn’t just zap me one day and make me instantly healthy has also given me the added bonus of a lifestyle of self-discipline.

(Most of the time.)

So, there are certain on-line “articles” (ads for alternative health care products) with titles that grab my attention. I’m sure you’ve seen them: “The Nutritional Supplement Doctors Don’t Want You To Know About,” “The Toothbrush Dentists Don’t Want You To Know About,” etc. What bothers me about these ads is the perceived assumption that doctors are just out to make money, and the sicker you are, the more money they can make keeping you sick and the happier they are. Although there may be doctors (especially lately) who unintentionally do harm to their patients, I venture to say there are very few who would deliberately keep their patients sick, and I for one take issue with the general insinuation that patients are no more than the medical profession’s “cash cows.”

In my lifetime I have had the privilege of being under the care of some amazing doctors, and I hope you have, too. You know the kind – They listen to my concerns, answer my questions, explore options with me, suggest but don’t push, and do all they can to help ensure that I’m making an informed decision. When I ask about something new I’ve heard or read about, they’ll research it further and get back to me. For example, I recently asked my primary care physician about a supplement I saw advertised as a kind of internal sunscreen so I wouldn’t have to slop chemicals on my skin to prevent a sunburn. She got back to me the next day, saying that though the evidence was not overwhelming for the sunburn claim, she was okay with my trying it, saying the antioxidant in it might help relieve inflammation in my joints. That’s my kind of doctor!

So is my former doctor in Michigan. Knowing I preferred prevention over cures and nutrition and exercise over drugs and surgery, she always recommended the natural way first. She once called me on a Saturday because she had read an article about some new research that made her think of me, and it led to my having (rare, for me) surgery that I think helped alleviate multiple problems.

All that to say, my experience with most doctors has been that they had gone into the medical field because they wanted to help people get and stay healthy, not because they wanted to take advantage of sick people to enrich themselves.

I say “most,” because I have had a few who wanted me to keep coming back until I got tired of their ineffective “treatments,” and once I actually walked out of an appointment, having discovered I had been lied to.

But these are a tiny minority. Most of my health care workers – doctors, dentists, specialists, chiropractors, physical therapists, etc. – seem delighted when I have a good report. I’ve been told once or twice that seeing me brightens their day, after they had been dragged down seeing multiple patients not doing well.

“But,” you might say, “if you’re staying healthy, they don’t make as much money from you.”

True. But good doctors are always in demand, and if they’re spending less time dealing with my ailments, they’ll have more time to take on new patients. Better a doctor with many healthy patients than one with just a few sickly “cash cows” (s)he sees weekly.

Besides, patients who are sick (and broke) all the time, don’t make their doctor look very good, do they?

Side note: More than one doctor has marveled at how well I do, health-wise. When I told one doctor I had just been doing what she had told me to (going to the gym for weight resistance training three days a week), she responded, amazed, “You have?” It seems most of her patients did not follow her instructions! (I wonder if they blamed her when they didn’t improve?) If you don’t follow your physician’s instructions, then either your health isn’t that important to you, or you don’t really trust that doctor and need to find another one.

(There’s a clear parallel here to the degree to which our trust in God is in direct proportion to our obedience, but that’s a post for another day.)

Meanwhile, as hard as it is to trust the medical profession after recent events, don’t get down on health care providers in general. Prayerfully choose one you feel is well informed and genuinely rooting for you. And know that there are a lot of them out there. Give them the benefit of the doubt as much as you’d like others to do the same for you. I believe my doctors have been a blessing from God, and I pray He leads you to the right ones, too.

And please, if you’re advertising the latest discovery in health and fitness, don’t assume all doctors are greedy monsters out to rip us off. That’s just not true. Doctors may not be perfect, but neither are you.

Prayer: Lord, thank You for creating us. We know we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and our bodies still hold mysteries that haven’t been explained. Help us to be wise in our choices and take care of the bodies You’ve given us, that we might live on this earth for as long as You would have us, serving You faithfully and effectively, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! – Romans 3:9a

This story began last week:

(https://seekingdivineperspective.com/2023/07/21/dont-judge-me-part-3-a-pleasant-surprise-at-the-pride-parade/)

The following is my letter to my fellow sinners:

  First of all, I want to apologize for the deplorable treatment you have received from the Church – or that small but vocal element claiming to represent the Church, those folks that seems to think there’s only one kind of sin and you’re it. When Jesus confronted people like that, He said “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone,” (John 8:7) and at least that group was honest enough with themselves to drop their rocks and walk away. I’m not sure certain people would be willing to do that today. I am so sorry.

       Secondly, I want to make it very clear that I have no illusions about being better than you. When the Bible says “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) that most certainly includes me. So when I talk about sin, know that I am one sinner relating to another. There’s so much more to sin than sexuality, so let’s just set that whole issue aside.

       Have you ever told a lie? (I have.) Have you ever wanted something that didn’t belong to you? (So have I.) Have you ever had bad feelings toward someone else? (I have, too.) Have you ever lost your temper? (Me too.) Have you ever held a grudge? (Don’t get me started…!)

      You see, there are so many things that count as sin, and I think it’s fair to say that all of us are guilty of most of them. You don’t have to be an axe murderer to fall short of God’s glory. Any sin makes a person unfit for heaven and subject to God’s judgment.

       The really scary thing is how sin comes so naturally! None of us had to be taught to be selfish. Each of us has something in us that is contrary to God. It’s called “sin nature,” and we’re all born with it.

       I happen to have an inability to let stuff go, or to put it bluntly, unforgiveness. When I’ve been hurt – even if the hurt was accidental – my natural tendency is to retreat, lick my wounds, pout, sulk, and plan a pity party for myself.

       There are two problems with pity parties: For one thing, usually nobody else wants to come, and most importantly, the Bible says that kind of attitude is DEAD WRONG. Jesus had some choice words for people like me: “If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15) That terrifies me, because guess what – I need forgiveness! You see, unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. But what can I do? I have thin skin – I was born this way!

       It would seem the only solution for me is to be born again, with a new nature. So how do I do that? Through the only One who was born without a sin nature, God’s perfect Son, Jesus.

       Jesus loved people like no one else could. He taught them, He healed them, He fed them, He even raised them from the dead. But the main reason He came was to rescue them – rescue us – from the consequences of our sin. The Bible says “The wages of sin is death” – that is, spiritual death, eternal separation from God – and Jesus loved us too much to let that happen. He wanted to save us so much that He paid the price for us by allowing Himself to be beaten, mocked, spit on, and nailed to a cross to die a slow, agonizing death, while His enemies gloated.

       Jesus was the only One who should never have had to pay any penalty. But He did, because He couldn’t bear the thought of spending eternity without us. All we need to do is to accept that substitution, knowing there is no way we can save ourselves.

      The moment I placed my faith in Jesus and asked Him to forgive me, the slate was wiped clean, and I could start over. Only now I have Him to help me get over stuff, to have a better attitude and more patience and forgiveness for other people. Because when I gave up my “right” to hold grudges, it turned out not to be a sacrifice at all! When I let go of the hurts and allow Jesus to mend relationships, I experience a joy that I can only describe as indescribable – a kind of joy the “old me” never could have imagined. (It’s way better than a pity party!)

       Now I usually don’t have time to pout; I’m too busy enjoying life and loving people. Notice I said “usually”. There are still times when I get hurt, and the old nature rears its ugly, unforgiving head. But if I recognize it and ask the Lord to help me let it go, He does!

       Please don’t get me wrong. I’ve got a long way to go. I still struggle and probably always will. But I’m not struggling alone, and that makes all the difference.

       As you know, there are plenty of people all too willing to take it upon themselves to tell you how you need to change. Ignore them. God is the One who created you. He knows your struggles and needs, and He’s the One who loves you. He won’t demand anything from you that He won’t empower you to do, and He won’t take anything away from you without replacing it with something much better.

       So trust Him. Believe Him. Love Him. He loves you more than you can imagine.

       Enough to die for you.

       If something I’ve said today has struck a chord with you, I would love to meet you, talk with you, and pray with you. And I promise I won’t judge you – we’re all in this together. 

[phone number]

       God bless you.

Everyone I offered the flyer to accepted it gladly, but no one ever took me up on my offer to meet and talk further. On the bright side, neither did I have anyone hunt me down looking for a fight. I’m hoping with all the prayer invested in this outreach and what was in my heart that day, that if nothing else was clear, these people recognized that I do love them. And more importantly, that God does, too.

Prayer: Lord, I don’t remember the people I gave my letter to, but You know every one, and they are never out of Your sight. Wherever they are today, speak to them of Your love and draw them to You through Your Spirit, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Mark 16:15

The discussion made me cringe. People were calling in to a Christian radio station, bemoaning the deplorable behavior of some alleged Christ-followers who had shown up at a funeral, carrying signs saying God hates gays and they were all going to hell.

Finally, the moderator posed this question: “If you were standing next to these people with your own sign, what would your sign say?”

I knew my answer immediately, “ASK ME ABOUT THE REAL JESUS – THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU.“

I didn’t call in, but there was a stirring in my heart that I believe was preparing me for what happened later that evening.

I received a message from a friend, a pastor’s wife, inviting me to go with a group from her church to the “pride parade” in Detroit. They wanted to “love on” the people there and apologize for the way the Church had treated them.

I asked my daughter Kelly if she’d like to go share God’s love with the LGBT community. Her response was an immediate and enthusiastic “YES!”

The parade was in just a couple of days, so I grabbed some poster board and started working on my sign. I guess I was a little too eager and didn’t plan the spacing very well. It was like one of those signs saying, “P-L-A-N AHEad,” with the last few letters scrunched together for lack of space. (*eye roll*) When I told Kelly I might have to start over, she made a suggestion that saved the day. (She’s familiar with my scatterbrained ways.) So, my sign ended up saying, “ASK ME ABOUT THE REAL JESUS, THE ONE WHO ❤ s U.”

Close enough.

I had noticed signs outside certain churches, implying that God was perfectly fine with whatever behavior one chose to practice. Not wanting our group to be mistaken for one of them, I prayed about how to distinguish ourselves from the enablers without coming across as unloving. Since this was going to be a totally new experience for me, and since I am much more confident writing than spontaneously speaking, I decided to write a testimony that I could give out at the parade. If the people there didn’t understand our position when they encountered us, they would when they read my story.

I prayerfully wrote my piece and was surprised at how quickly it came. The words flowed with very little revision, and when I showed it to my husband Marty, who is excruciatingly honest in his feedback, his only response was, “This is good.” Coming from him, that was a huge green light.

I typed up the piece to fit onto a sheet of paper with three columns on each side. Taking it to the local print shop, I had copies made in multiple colors, folded them, and stacked them to look like a rainbow in my hand.

The night before the parade, Kelly sat with a blank hot pink posterboard and a concerned look on her face.

“I don’t know what to write on my sign!” she sighed.

Remembering that we were going to the parade to try to undo the damage done by “Christian” haters, I suggested, “How about, ‘Can we start over?‘”

She loved the idea and got to work. Around midnight we put the signs and flyers by the door, set our alarms, and went to bed. We wanted to get a good night’s sleep before what we felt was going to be an important day for us and, we hoped, for some hurting people who would be blessed by what we were offering, as well.

I admit I’ve slept better. I didn’t know what kind of reception the Pride people would give to a church group, especially after the despicable treatment they had received from others who claimed to represent Jesus. I was also aware that if we were going down to win souls to Christ, there was going to be pushback, if not from the people themselves, from the spiritual forces that held them captive. Were we in for unpleasant encounters, even violence? I believe in spiritual warfare, as my long-time readers know. Putting on my armor and praying some Scripture, I eventually fell asleep.

Early Sunday morning downtown Detroit was quieter than we had expected. I texted my friend and her husband to see where we should park and which direction we should walk to meet them. As we traipsed along the empty streets, we started to encounter other people, and by the time we met up with our group, there was considerable activity.

We were given t-shirts to wear that said, “I’m sorry” on them. I admit my initial reaction was negative. Sorry for what? I didn’t do anything. But I swallowed my self-righteousness and put on the shirt.

I was surprised and amazed at the response we received. I had prepared for the worst (braced myself for unpleasantness), but we experienced the opposite. People thanked us for coming, hugged us with tears in their eyes, wanted to take our pictures, and wanted their pictures taken with us. Some even stepped out of the parade to rush over and hug us before running back to catch up. One woman just yelled, “YES!” from the procession. Then, clarifying, she pointed to Kelly’s sign and called, “YES! We can start over!”

I suspected there was a good chance most or all of this response was from misunderstanding why we were there. I did see a woman holding a large sign with as passage from Romans condemning homosexual activity, having a seemingly calm and friendly conversation with a man dressed in rainbows. Still, I was anxious to share my flyer with these people and clarify what exactly it was we wanted to share with them.

Next week I’ll share what the flyer said.

Prayer: Lord, why are we so often afraid to tell others You love them? Why do we expect them to respond negatively to the Good News that has blessed us so much? Do we really think they are that different from us? Or has the enemy succeeded in intimidating us into silence? Break us out of our selfish cocoons and love them through us. And when some respond negatively, keep us from retreating, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

      

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Matthew 19: 4-6

I probably should skip posting this week, as we have a very full weekend coming up, but I’m taking a few minutes off from preparing the house for houseguests and making party arrangements to fill in my readers ahead of time.

The day this is scheduled to be posted (Friday, July 14), Marty and I celebrate fifty years (!) of marriage.

“Save-the-dates” were sent out at Christmastime, and official invitations sent out a couple of months ago. Relatives are joining us from all over the country (Arizona to Maine), as well as a couple of long-time friends, who took part in our wedding. In addition to the Best Man (my cousin Larry) and Matron of Honor (my sister Susie), one of our special guests will be another bridesmaid, Cathy, dubbed “Cannonball” back in the day. (Our summer gang played volleyball, and Cathy had a mean serve.) Her sister Carol, who played guitar and sang the “Wedding Song” in the ceremony, is coming with her husband. My niece Sarah, who was our flower girl, is excited about coming, and her husband Pete, photographer extraordinaire, will be accompanying her and taking pictures.

Daughter Kelly is our designated D.J. Months ago, we gave her a long list of songs from the 60’s and 70’s, color-coded (green for dinner music, red for fast dancing, blue for slow dancing), to make into our playlist. In case that’s not enough rock and roll, Simon and Garfunkel, Beach Boys, and Woodstock, there will also be a Karaoke machine for the family hams to knock themselves out.

Our family summer home – where we were married five decades ago – is being spruced up with paint touch-ups, a few new rugs, and a face-lift for the patio. (Thanks, Sweetie! ❤ )

I’ve been making a new wreath for the door and filling flowerpots with white flowers embellished with gold ribbon, as well as designing decorations for the tables: candles in glasses of sand and pebbles, tiny vases of white flowers (not to block our view of one another), and pictures from our wedding in little gold frames. I’m up to my elbows in white and gold.

The cake has been ordered, the caterer is all set, the tables, chairs, and tablecloths reserved.

With a sense of deja vu, it occurred to me that this feels a lot like planning our children’s weddings, except instead of planning someone else’s wedding, it’s been a time of reminiscing about ours.

It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday.

A while back I shared the lyrics of a song I wrote for Marty when we had been married about twenty years. Since then, my songs have found their way to SoundCloud. (I told the story of that bit of serendipity on another post – https://seekingdivineperspective.com/2023/05/19/i-guess-im-not-finished-yet/ )

So now – I THINK – I can share the song with you so that you can actually listen to it! This is the demo I had made in my songwriting season in the 80’s, when I took occasional trips to Nashville in search of someone to publish my work. The songs never made it big, but I ended up with (I think) some nice recordings. You won’t hear me. The singers in this recording were hired professionals, which seemed like a better idea at the time. 😉

(Note: This song was written before Kelly came along, so the line “… with a daughter and a son” has been changed to ” … with two daughters and a son.” 😉 )

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wed —er, party to attend…

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank You for instituting marriage, to give us a picture of the bond You have with Your Church. What an honor it is to be Your Bride. Help us to be faithful to our wonderful Bridegroom, now and forever, in Your name, amen.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. – I John 4:7

Some years ago, my little granddaughter and I were on our way to get our allergy shots, and as often happens in the car, we had a “teachable moment.”

“Nana, did God know when He made people that we were gonna sin?” she asked. It was one of those questions of hers that seem to come out of thin air.

“Yes, sweetie, I believe He did. There was a pause as she considered this.

“Did He know Jesus was gonna have to die to save us?”

“That was the plan, yes.” Another pause.

“Then why did He create us?!” she asked, baffled.

How do you answer that, other than, “Because He loves us so much!”?

Recently one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of her newborn daughter, who, of course, was adorable. She posted that in one day her whole attitude toward life and the world was changed. Her perspective had shifted instantly from self to someone else – a helpless little person who couldn’t do a thing for her, and yet who elicited a love in her that she hadn’t known existed before.

I remember that feeling well, of falling instantly in love with that tiny person who so far had done nothing but cause me pain, and yet —! I remember how the proverbial lightbulb had switched on, and how between feedings and diapers I had made an awkward attempt at expressing my epiphany. The result was a poem, which I tried to share with the church but ended up basically blubbering my way through.

The recent Facebook post jogged my memory, and I was surprised at how much of that poem I remember now, over four decades later. Even just now, as I’m writing, the gaps are being filled as the rest is coming back to me

                              Joanna 

Hello there, little stranger - so it was you all along! 
All these months you've waited to sing your birth-day song.
 
I struggled for so many years, I tried so hard to learn 
To understand God's love for me, a love I couldn't earn. 

My sins - there were so many! My failures, far from few. 
I crucified Him daily with the things I'd say and do. 

"Oh God, how could You love me? There's nothing I can do, 
No gift to give, no work to do, that didn't come from You."

And then one night, a miracle, a gift from God above, 
One wondrous summer evening, a child for us to love. 

She was so small and helpless, and yet she looked so fine! 
I loved her - not on merit, but just for being mine. 

Hello there, little stranger. I'm glad you helped me see. 
All these years I never knew how much He cared for me! 

When God created us, He formed us in His image. He knew we’d blow it, but He placed in us a divine spark, and as sinful and selfish as we are, there are those moments – like falling in love with your baby – when that seed of pure love makes itself known. Any parent who has experienced that surge of divine love – that agape – has been given a glimpse of the divine that should inspire us to love and serve the One who created us. After all,

“We love because He first loved us.” (I John 4:19)

Prayer: Heavenly Father, even as we quote the Scripture, “God is love,” we may never in this life fully fathom the depths of that love. – We can’t, because Your love is infinite. All we can do is stand in awe of You and offer our eternal gratitude to You for creating us to be Your beloved children. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I realize this post is too late for Mother’s Day, or even Father’s Day. And it’s way too early for Christmas, but I want to share a song with you that has touched me deeply, especially in light of my granddaughter’s question. And even though it’s from a Christmas album (my all-time favorite – “Rose of Bethlehem,” by Selah), its relevance is timeless. Listen, meditate on the words, and be in awe of the God who loves you that much.

“You hypocrite, first take the plank our of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Matthew :5

Last week I shared my thoughts on the much-quoted Bible verse, “Judge not, or you too will be judged,” taken from the Sermon on the Mount. (Matthew 7:1) and what I believe to be the balanced way for the Christ-follower to live it out.

“Don’t Judge Me!” Part 1: To Judge or not to Judge?

The imagery was of one person trying to remove the speck from another’s eye before dealing with the plank in his own eye. Pretty vivid imagery, but as I often ask after hearing an abstract concept, what does “judge not” look like in real life? How do Christ-followers live out these principles now, when so much of the world seems to have lost its mind and are demanding we join them in their insanity? Are we to be tolerant of the wholesale slaughter of infants? The mutilation of children and the removal of them from their homes if their parents don’t go along with it? Are we to smugly feel “merciful” if we do nothing about the trafficking of human beings and deadly drugs across our border and every other evil that breaks the heart of God?

The Gospel of John gives an account that illustrates the kind of mercy Jesus lived. This story brings up the issue of passing judgment and has been (incompletely) referred to by those who scream, “JUDGE NOT!” in response to those who scream, “REPENT!”

OK, if we can all stop screaming, let’s read the story:

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. (John 8:3-6a)

This was not the only time the religious leaders set a trap for Jesus. They had heard Him preaching love and mercy. They had also heard Him claim to be the fulfillment of the Law of Moses. If Jesus responded by saying, “Yes, she should be stoned,” they could accuse Him of going against His own teaching of mercy. If He answered “No, she shouldn’t be stoned,” they could accuse Him of teaching against the Law of Moses. (There’s also the matter of a double-standard, as the Law required the same penalty for both parties committing adultery, but we’ll set that aside for now.)

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. (John 8:6b-11b)

“AHA!“ declares the “Judge-not” crowd. “Jesus didn’t condemn the woman for being sexually active!”

But wait – what else did He say to the woman?

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now, and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11b – 11c)

No, it isn’t helpful to tell the sinner (s)he’s going to hell, but neither is it OK to say, “Go now, and enjoy your life of sin.” If that’s our message, we will be held accountable and share in that person’s guilt.

The Lord explained this concept to Ezekiel this way:

“When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,” and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.” (Ezekiel 3:18) [Emphasis mine]

According to this passage, we aren’t responsible for other people’s behavior, but we are responsible to warn them about the consequences when that behavior is self-destructive.

So, the child of God will have opportunity to speak up, to offer correction, to be “salt and light,” but the wise will do it acknowledging their own sin, being mindful of the Lord’s mercy toward them, and extending the same mercy to fellow sinners.

So, let’s follow the pattern Jesus practiced – correction and mercy.

But mercy comes first.

Prayer: Lord God, we see how the world today seems to be careening toward a cliff, and in our selfish ease we are slow to issue any warning. But we realize that merely smiling and waving as they go, we will be held responsible for their condemnation. Who are we to stand idly by, waiting for their destruction, when we know we ourselves deserve the same punishment? Show us how to humbly and lovingly show them a better way that will lead from death to life. And prepare their hearts to receive Your gift. Give us courage and help us to obey and leave the results to You, in Jesus’ name. Amen

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! – James 2:12-13

The most well-known and most often quoted verse from the Bible used to be John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” But some say that in recent days it’s been replaced by Matthew 7:1: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This is a favorite verse to shoot back at Christians who are perceived to cross the line in minding other people’s business. It seems to fit the attitude that says, “What I do is my business, and who are you to judge me. – ‘JUDGE NOT!‘”

Since this verse is part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, it is well worth looking into and understanding what exactly Jesus meant. For example, does “Judge not” mean we are not to evaluate the actions of others? Or is the meaning of “judge” more like “condemn”? And are we never to judge, or is this a warning to be very careful when expressing our disapproval of the behaviors of others?

As always, CONTEXT is crucial. Whole cults have been built around lies that seem to be implied when one verse is quoted out of context. So, since this wasn’t just some random thought Jesus threw out there in isolation from anything else He said, we should be asking, What ese did He say?

The very next verse is a reminder that we are also subject to judgment from others and, most importantly, from God. “For in the same way you judge, you will be judged,” Jesus warns. This harkens back to something He said at the very beginning of the sermon: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” (Matthew 5:7) Do you want God to be merciful to you? Then you’d better be merciful to others, because as James wrote: “We all stumble in many ways.” (James 3:2) We’d do well to keep that in mind!

The next few lines in the sermon bring into focus the kind of judging Jesus was talking about, adding the element of hypocrisy and the double standard that is still so prevalent – and maddening – today.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye…

SO … is the Christ-follower to judge or not? I would submit to you that the answer lies in the rest of verse 5:

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye… and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” [emphasis mine] This verse tell us there will be times when it is right and good to correct a brother (or sister), to take the speck from his eye – after I remove the plank from my own! Are we to judge? Yes, but only after we judge ourselves. Chances are when we examine ourselves, we won’t see perfection. We may even see the same sin in ourselves that we were about to condemn the other person for. I found out that very thing not long ago! https://seekingdivineperspective.com/2023/06/09/update-and-a-confession/

The habit of checking our own hearts and lives first will give us needed humility and prevent the kind of arrogant attitude of superiority that others find so distasteful in people who claim to represent a loving God. Acknowledging our own sin and need for correction and forgiveness can open the door for the other person to more readily receive the words of life we want to give him.

Above all, we need to approach others, especially the unbelieving, only after devoting time to praying for them, making sure we are motivated by love for them. If our motives are anything else, it’s time to go to the woodshed and remove a plank or two.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we know we are called to represent You in Your holiness and in Your loving mercy. Keep us mindful of both our own need for mercy and our own need for correction, that we might deal with others in the loving, patient way You have dealt with us. Help us be humble enough to be usable, and use us to draw others into your family as our brothers and sisters, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” [emphasis mine] – John 13: 3-5, 12-17

Marty was out in the yard, cutting up a dead tree, when I stepped outside. He looked up and asked if there was still coffee in the kitchen.

“There is,” I replied. “Would you like some?”

He said, “Yes, I would.” I picked up his empty mug. “You don’t have to be my servant,” he added. I’m not sure what prompted that protest after all these years.

“We serve each other,” I reminded him and went inside to get his refill.

This little exchange reminded me of a song I wrote a few decades ago about a concept I still believe in, one that is likely to be even more unpopular now than it was back then. As I did a search of my blog this morning, I realized I had never shared the lyrics with my readers, so I want to post them today. I have never recorded this song, so you’ll have to just imagine an upbeat country tune, a classic Loretta Lynn-type country voice, and a woman with a big smile.

WARNING: If you are a zealous feminist, you probably will not like this song. – Unless you read to the end with an open mind and open heart. Then, who knows? You might find yourself smiling, too.

SERVANT’S HEART

by Annie Aschauer

People tell me we're the happiest pair they've ever seen.
My man gets treated like a king. - I guess that makes me Queen!
The secret to our "wedded bliss" is one you might not guess.
Who'd've thought a servant held the key to happiness?

Refrain:   Girlfriends say, "How can you let him walk all over you?"
                But they are never satisfied, and me, I'm rarely blue.
                So if you are a bride-to-be, I'll tell you from the start,
                If you want to live just like a queen, have a servant's heart.

Now when my man gets tired, I rub his back and make him tea.
(The Son of God washed feet, so I'm in Good Company!)
Some girls grab for what they want, but I get so much more,
'cause I serve him, then he serves me, and no one's keepin' score.

Refrain:   Girlfriends say, "How can you let him walk all over you?"
                But they are never satisfied, and me, I'm rarely blue.
                So if you are a bride-to-be, I'll tell you from the start,
                If you want to live just like a queen, have a servant's heart.

Now I am no one's doormat, and I'm hardly ever shy!
And that is why I must explain to those who wonder why
Every little thing he asks, I very gladly do:
When I'm the one who needs a hand - he's my servant, too!

Refrain:   Girlfriends say, "How can you let him walk all over you?"
                But they are never satisfied, and me, I'm rarely blue.
                So if you are a bride-to-be, I'll tell you from the start,
                If you want to live just like a queen, have a servant's heart.

Philippians 2 contains a very famous passage describing Jesus, the divine Servant we are to emulate:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God 
       something to be grasped,
But made himself nothing,
   taking the very nature of a servant, 
       being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself and became obedient to death - 
       even death on a cross!    
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
       and gave him the name that is above every name,
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
       and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
            to the glory of God the Father.
                                                  Philippians 2: 5-11

Prayer: King of the universe, You came among us as a Servant, modeling humility and obedience to Your Father, even unto death! And yet so often we want the positions of honor and influence. Forgive us for our arrogance, our blindness, and our failure to follow Your example. Make us servants today. Open our eyes to the opportunities around us and let Your grace shine through us as we serve others, in You precious name, amen.





              

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” – Matthew 5:7 (Jesus)

It’s been a busy, fun, and interesting few weeks. The last two weeks of May I was with my sister Susie out West, having our annual “sisterly adventure” – a couple of days at her house in Scottsdale, Arizona, then eight days on the road in her motor home, exploring New Mexico and Colorado, meeting some fascinating people from all over the country (and one from Sweden), and taking long soaks in various hot mineral springs, with a few hikes in between. Then we spent another day or two at her house before flying home.

I returned to Louisville just in time to see my second granddaughter “graduate” from grade school in (for me) a very emotional ceremony. I was so proud of her as she gave her speech, and I was brought to tears as the students all sang “The Blessing” to their parents right before giving carnations to their moms. As they stood singing, I could see my granddaughter’s hands signing the song behind the kid in front of her. She and I had learned almost the whole song in sign language earlier that month, and I was touched that she wanted to sign the words, even if most of the congregation didn’t see her doing it.

Next on the schedule was a weekend family reunion, hosted by my cousin Owen and his wife. Saturday night’s event was at their home just a few blocks from our house and was supposed to feature a “talent show.” I had persuaded our daughter Joanna to sing “The Happy Wanderer” with me in honor of Susie, who couldn’t make it. (That song epitomizes Susie’s spirit of adventure.) I expected that if we started singing it, Owen would join us, yodeling for the chorus, as he had often done before. So, I tuned my guitar and carried it up the road to the party.

As it turned out, there were several men at the gathering who also played guitar, all of them Owen’s wife’s relatives, whom I didn’t know well. Before most of us had finished eating, these musicians were jamming together; it sounded like something they did often. One of the children came up to me at the dinner table and asked if one of the men could play my guitar. I thought, Why not? and said, “Sure.”

A few minutes later, I was notified that said musician had broken one of the strings while trying to tune my guitar. I guessed immediately what had happened.

When I went to talk to him, the man explained that he was trying to get my guitar in tune. I explained to him that 12-string guitars are always tuned a whole step lower than 6-string guitars. Surprised, he asked why. Now in full teacher mode, I explained that to lessen the strain on the neck, the guitar is tuned lower, and a capo is used when playing with 6-string guitars.

He said, “Sorry.”

I told him, “These things happen,” and that he was not the first to try to “tune my guitar for me.” As it turned out, it was still playable. In fact, if I could have picked one string to lose, it would have been that one, as it was least involved in my more intricate picking patterns.

As it also turned out, the “talent show” never quite happened. The jamming went on into the evening, and it was fun to hear. Also, while they were jamming, I was able to get acquainted with a 13-year-old cousin-in-law-twice-removed (or something). This was, in fact, more fun than “performing,” because I found that she was a young version of ME! – an animated, talkative, singing, guitar-playing, novel-writing, theater-loving young lady – named Annie, no less! So, it was a delightful evening, although not what I had expected.

The next day I was adding “Buy new strings” to my to-do list, realizing my guitar was way overdue for new strings anyway, and yes, it was all good. As I looked up the local guitar store, I randomly remembered the time I’d been performing a song with some of my best picking, and a teenaged boy had told me that 12-string guitars are for strumming, not picking. (Men.) I was momentarily struck with a twinge of irritation at men who thought they knew more about my guitar than I did, when something (or SomeONE) brought to mind a recent memory …

Flashback: Susie and I were getting cleaned up at her house after a day in the desert, and I had finished first. As I waited for her, I spotted her harp sitting in the corner. I said something about it to LeeAnn, Susie’s sometimes-tenant, who commented that she hadn’t heard Susie play it lately.

“I guess she hasn’t,” I opined, plucking at the strings. “It’s really out of tune.” I was itching to play it, so I got the tuning instrument and adjusted a couple of strings …

When Susie came out and saw what I was doing, she gently reminded me that her harp was tuned in the key of D, not C, which explained why several strings were not tuned to the “right” notes …

That’s right, folks. Less than two weeks before my cousin’s wife’s relative took the liberty of tuning my guitar, I did the same thing with Susie’s harp. … Well, almost the same thing, the difference being that the man at the party had asked permission to play my guitar.

In that forehead-slapping moment of realization, I was SO glad I had been nice about the broken string!

Update: Today I’m playing my 12-string guitar with brand-new strings on it, and it sounds wonderful.

Prayer: Lord, thanks for the reminder that it’s always good to conduct ourselves “in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ,” even when we don’t feel like it or understand why. I realize there are often things I’m not aware of – or don’t remember, so help me always to remember to be kind, because I need mercy, too. In Your name, amen.