Poison and the Antidote

Uncategorized 4 Minutes

“And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all …” – Mark 16:17, 18a

It was fall, 1991, and my usual “cold season” had started already. In those days I was still struggling to keep my immune system strong, but year after year, when autumn came, with it came a steady stream of colds that lasted until spring.

That night I had a particularly horrible bout. I had all the symptoms – runny nose, raw throat, congestion, cough, headache, fever, yadda-yadda-yadda…

I was desperate to get some sleep. So, like any normal red-blooded American, I took drugs. Specifically, a “multi-symptom” liquid containing every imaginable cold medicine, plus alcohol. I never drank, but that night I just wanted to be knocked out and escape the misery for a while.

The escape lasted for about four hours, and at 3:00 A. M. I was wide awake, all the symptoms having come back with a vengeance.

I thought, I know I’m probably not supposed to do this, but at this point I don’t care. I took a second dose and was knocked out for a few more hours.

A few days later, the monster had subsided a bit, but in the meantime, I had noticed something else unusual. Suspicious and a bit apprehensive, I bought a home pregnancy test kit.

It was October 31, and pulling the kit out of the bag, I said to Marty, “Well, honey, it’s Halloween. You wanna do something really scary?” He turned an appropriate, ghostly pale.

As you can probably guess (Why else would I be telling this story?), the result was positive. Just to make sure, I showed the stick to Marty and asked if he saw a pink line. He said he did.

“So, does that mean we’re having a girl?” asked my adorably oblivious husband.

Later, I had a thought that turned my joy into anxiety: I had taken all those drugs and alcohol the other night, when unbeknownst to me, I was already pregnant! Though it wasn’t yet the size of a kidney bean, I had already potentially poisoned my baby! Of course, I wouldn’t know whether that knock-out medicine had done any harm for a long time. How would I survive not knowing something that important for nearly nine months?!

About a week later, I was at my children’s school, making apple pies for a fundraiser with a group of other moms. Denise, a woman I was vaguely acquainted with approached me.

“Annie …” She seemed hesitant to continue, maybe trying to put what she had to say into words. “Is … anything going on in your life right now?”

“Well,” I said, smiling, still in awe of my situation, “I just learned I’m pregnant again.” Then curious, I wanted to know, “Why do you ask?”

“Last week, the Lord woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to pray for you.”

I let that statement sink in, then felt compelled to ask, “Do you remember what night?” She thought a moment.

“It was Tuesday,” she said, “at about 3:00 in the morning.”

About the time I was gulping down my second dose of “poison.”

“And you prayed for me?” She smiled and nodded.

“Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. (And thank YOU, I added silently.)

From that moment, I decided I was not going to spend nine months stressing out over whether this baby was going to be something it shouldn’t be because I did something wrong. I turned my child over to the One who created her in the first place, knowing that He’d had her all along.

Later I was to stand up to a doctor who warned me that at my age there was a greater chance of having a child with Down’s Syndrome. He wanted to give me a test to determine if this were the case with my baby.

“So … if the test comes out positive, what can we do about it?” I asked. I knew what the “answer” would be for some women, but he knew that was not an option for me.

“Well,” he said hesitantly, “you prepare yourself for it.”

“I’ll prepare myself now,” I said. “And if the baby’s normal, it’ll be a pleasant surprise.” There was something else I needed to say that I felt needed saying. I had done a little research, read some statistics. “What are the chances that I would have a Down’s Syndrome child at my age, anyway?”

“For 40-year-old women, about one percent,” he confirmed what I had read. At 38, I wasn’t concerned.

“I’ve read that the test carries a risk of miscarriage. Is that true?”

“A slight risk,” he answered.

“So, let me get this straight … You’re asking me to take a test and risk miscarriage, because there’s a one percent chance of something I can’t do anything about anyway?!”

The doctor put up his hands in surrender. “Oh stop it!” he scolded.

(No, you stop it, I grumbled silently.)

Flash Forward: I did not have the test. Kelly did not have Down’s Syndrome. That doctor did not deliver her. In fact, I delivered her (Duh.), with the help of a different doctor.

And the Lord delivered me from the poison of fear, with the help of a lady named Denise.

Prayer: Father, thank You so much for speaking to Denise, for her obedience, and for prompting her to tell me about it. Thank You for Your patience with us, as You tell us again and again not to worry and we do it anyway! Help us to trust You more and reserve our emotional energies for what You’ve called us to do for Your kingdom, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Unknown's avatar

Published by seekingdivineperspective

I am a forgiven sinner and adopted child of God, seeking to see life from His perspective - as opposed to the world's flawed perspective - and living my life accordingly.

Published

38 thoughts on “Poison and the Antidote”

  1. Thanks for filling us in on all this stuff none of us guys have any concept of! After the birth of our first son (see yesterday’s post) I asked how many days it would be for his eyes to open (I figured it might be like kittens!)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  3. I love this story, Annie. It reminded me of when I took a pregnancy test for my first baby. I was so hoping I was really pregnant. I showed the test results to my husband and said, “Does that look like a donut to you?” (This is how you knew it was positive in 1980.) He said, “It looks EXACTLY like a donut!” I literally couldn’t believe my eyes! My son was born 8 1/2 months later! The most beautiful baby I had ever seen! A gift from God! 6 years later the Lord blessed us with a little girl! Children truly are a gift from God! Blessings, my friend! 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. I had the same sense of wonder, Cindy. And I love that this overwhelming joy isn’t confined to a few elite people. Millions of us get to experience the incredible love of a parent for a child – and a taste of the infinite Love of God for us.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  7. Ahh, what a great story! I had my last child late in life too, a bit of a surprise, but a good one. I also remember all the fear made so much worse by doctors. I also had a bit of a struggle over refusing that test. You story definitely made me smile and brought back some fond memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. What a wild ride that story is. Love it. I can’t even, when I go to the doctor, all these attitudes and suggestions, my mouth runs a mile a min……Lord Jesus help us….

    After our daughters were born 9 weeks early and they were in the NICU, they were talking about some of the vacs with me and some other meds they wanted to give them. The nurse said there were no significant side effects with them. I asked, “What are the insignificant side effects?” She did not like that at all – lol.

    Thanks for sharing that wonderful story. He IS Faithful !

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Annie, I love how you stood up to that doctor, and although every baby is God’s gift, I’m thankful that Kelly did not have Down’s Syndrome. And I especially love that you did not succumb to fear and/or worry!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. True, Keith. I have known of parents who say what a blessing their Down’s syndrome child is, another reason to refuse the unnecessary test. There was talk about risks and percentages, and I finally determined that there was a 100% chance my baby would be exactly what the Lord wanted him/her to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Thanks, Annie. Thank you for reminding us that fear is a silent killer! If it is allowed to run its course, it can cause so much damage. I saw firsthand this past week, how fear from one individual can even hurt others. (An upcoming blog is brewing about the situation.) You are bold and brave to share an intimate time in your life that will no doubt help others in theirs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. When I was pregnant with our second child, people would ask, “Are you hoping for a boy or girl?” (Our first was a boy). Often they’d follow up by saying, “Well, just as long as the baby’s healthy, right?” I had to wonder, what about all the parents whose infant is not healthy? Does that mean God didn’t answer their prayers, or that he’s punishing them somehow? I knew that couldn’t be true. Too many wonderful people have birthed children with disabilities. What I decided was, should God decide to give us a special-needs baby, he’d also give us the grace and strength to cope. And we’d still know his peace and joy. I’d known parents in these circumstances and witnessed their faith, strength, and joy. NO DOUBT, Annie, you would have stood firm in your faith too, if circumstances had turned out differently. P.S. For us, Baby #2 was a girl; Baby #3 was another boy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Nancy, I wrote in my response to Keith Peterson something I should have included in my original blog – that with all the talk about “percentages” and “risks,” I determined that there was a 100% chance this child would be whatever the Lord wanted her to be, and if (s)he had special needs, He would give me special grace to handle the challenge. Kelly did turn out to have health issues from about age four, but the journey with her has been a unique blessing with valuable lessons I’ve learned and am continuing to learn.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  17. Annie, forgive me for not getting to your post earlier. (Juggling lots).

    What a story. It’s recollections like this that really do help to bolster faith in the Lord. It’s good and healthy, spiritually speaking, that you asked her about the day she woke up and was urged to pray. It was a true confirmation of God’s orchestrations in quiet, behind-the-scenes moments in life.

    Loved it.

    God’grip – Alan

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. God really does bolster my faith with details like these, Alan. It’s like the story of the royal official whose son was healed “long distance” by Jesus, and the servants confirmed that the fever left at the same hour when Jesus said “Your son will be healed.” ❤ (John 4:46-53)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a reply to Nancy Ruegg Cancel reply