Alzheimer’s? Or God’s Pruning Shears?

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12

Time is precious, and my need to prioritize continues. Lately the Lord seems to be “helping” me in a very humbling way, a way characteristic of people my age and older.

I’ve started forgetting things.

Case in point: Just before the weekend of the Kentucky Derby, Marty and I took a long walk in the late afternoon. Since the weather was hot, I made us a big salad for dinner. We ate together and watched some Derby activities on the local news. (Here in Louisville, Derby is bigger than Christmas.) At some point Marty fell asleep next to me. A little while later, he asked sleepily, “Weren’t you going somewhere tonight?”

I realized, YES! It was Thursday, and I had just missed my church home group. I was momentarily upset with myself. Then I was puzzled, remembering that I had prayed earlier, “Please help me remember what I need to remember, and help me forget what I need to forget.”

So … what happened? Was it somehow more important that I spend that evening with my husband doing mundane things at home? As embarrassing as such blunders are, if I truly trust the Lord, they shouldn’t throw me into a panic. I have to believe that if the Lord had wanted me to go to home group, well … I would have remembered to go!

In my defense, I’d like to point out something that should be obvious once you think about it:

The older one gets, the more experiences we’ve had, the more memories we have, and the more data resides in our brains. This is a good reason for younger people to be more tolerant of their elders’ forgetting things. These kids may forget less than their grandparents, but they have a lot less to forget. (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

In my younger days, I wanted to do anything and everything. I crammed so many activities into my schedule that I was in a constant state of frenzied activity. That is, until I burned out, got sick, and had to cancel a bunch of things until I could recover. Even then, I would invariably jump back into things prematurely, often bringing on a frustrating relapse.

“My brothers, this should not be.” I don’t know anywhere in the gospels where Jesus was described as franticly busy. He knew the Father’s will and did it, with no time wasted on useless activities. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all do that?

As with most important battles, the struggle to know the will of God and do it is waged in the mind. In recent years I’ve come to appreciate the importance of giving my mind over to the Lord early and often. Romans 12:2 is a wonderful verse that describes this commitment:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

I’ve found as I get older it becomes easier to “test and approve” what God’s will is. But there are still times I’m not quite getting it. And that’s where senility come into play. (*eye roll*)

If the Lord has whispered to me that a certain activity, while good, is not the BEST use of my time, and I haven’t heard clearly enough to cancel, I may find, as I did the other night, that it has “slipped my mind.” This concerned me for a while, especially considering my age and already scatterbrained tendencies. But when I have prayed and given my mind to the Lord, including my memory, I should trust Him with it. That means I don’t have to beat myself up for forgetting something. I can assume I was supposed to forget.

I’ve often thought of “what I ought to forget” as including the hurtful and counterproductive, the painful memories, and certain minor issues I tend to turn into major ones. But I’m starting to consider that they also could include lesser things that compete with the most important (not necessarily the most glamorous) duties. If I keep asking the Lord to clear out the mental clutter, I have to trust that He’s doing that. No one said the world would agree with those priorities or admire me for it!

Here’s another obvious observation:

The older we get, the less time we have left. They say life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. If my time is short, I don’t want to squander any of it doing what’s not-quite-His-will, then backtracking and doing belatedly what I should have been doing in the first place.

So, young people, the next time an older person forgets something, before you roll your eyes at their stupidity, you might want to consider that that thing you consider so important and unforgettable just might be something God considers a lesser priority. Or just plain silly. Better to use your critical thinking skills determining His plan for your own life and making sure you yourself are on track. In a few blinks of an eye, you’ll be old, too.

By the way, after forgetting my home group, I remembered that after postponing going north “for a few days,” Marty had decided now the trip was so close to the time he usually goes up for the summer, that when he got there, he’d just stay. So, while he usually goes north just a week or two before I do, to get the family summer home opened and functioning, this year it will be a lot longer. Since it hadn’t yet sunk in that we were going to be apart for nearly a month, the Lord allowed home group to slip my mind, so I’d spend the evening with my husband. I’ll have plenty of time to spend with my home group when he’s in Michigan.

Prayer: Lord, as I get older, may my desire to please You outrank everything else, including my pride. Help me hone in on what really matters. Don’t let lesser things – even good things – drown out Your voice. I give You my mind today, casting down imaginations and every argument that exalts itself against the knowledge of You, taking every thought captive for You.* In Jesus’ name, amen.

*II Corinthians 10:5